frustrated

Usually I would be beyond joyed that today is Fridy.. but honestly, I could careless.
I have worked late every night this week and yet I am still not where I need to be. I have called endless amounts of people, received an alarming amount of no's and today I was finally on track to be able to be stress free and attend my work trip next week.. Until my appointment last night didn't show and my appointment this morning didn't show.. and then my 12 didn't show.. and then my four oclock cancelled.. It is frustrating to say the least..

Work is Work. I understand that everything worth having or doing is means to put up a fight but I honestly do not know how much longer I can scratch and paw.. I feel like giving up. Giving up on work, and everything else. My stress level is beyond measurable at this point. Honestly, if it would be dismissed I would have a bottle of wine RIGHT NOW.. that is right.. @ 2:07 in the afternoon.. Call me a lush or call it a problem.. I call it my stress reliver. I could care less what you think..

If I had a perfect moment I would be sitting at home.. in the dark with candles and wine. and kelsey. (but only if she sitting in her chair and not on me) That is right folks, the mood I am in, I don't even want the dog to be near me... Between work, family, friends and the attempt of a love life (letting go of the past and proceeding to the future) I am overwhelmed. Maybe I should admit that I am in a bad place.. but it is more like a bad year.

Things change. I realize that. Struggles are placed before you so you can be stronger and keep going. But what if you just want to lay down. Give up. Let the struggles take over. Let everything else win for awhile. It sounds tempting that is for sure.
I realize though I have came to far, worked to hard, been through to much to let it all go but it would be easier. so much easier. Please no one mistake this post. I am NOT thinking about doing anything crazy but just thinking about benging for the weekend and not getting out of bed. That probably will alarm some people but not my real friends. they understand. they get it.

But I am going to go now. Thank you blog and blog readers for letting me get it out.
Hope you all have a good weekend. I will write when I can think again.